Lately, I’ve been under quite a bit of stress.
There’s my 40 hour work week, two classes a week for 3 hours each as well as an online course, assignments and studying for said courses. That adds up to over 60 hours, but that’s nothing new. I’ve been doing that for a year and a half now.
However, now that I’m moving, I’ve been dealing with an extra 10 hours or so a week dedicated to packing, figuring out logistics, downsizing my stuff, making decisions on what should be purchased first, etc. Everyone seems to have an opinion on how I should be doing things, which I haven’t necessarily been taking well. I went away for the weekend because I couldn’t handle being at home. S**t got too real, quite honestly. Since I’m so focused on preparing for my life after July 15th, when I no longer have to answer to anyone, I’m finding the nit picking I suffer through and having to walk on egg shells in my own home is getting really old. That’s why I tend to go away on weekends, and why everything has to get done during the week. After the entire week at work with my family, staying at home would drive me up the wall. My stress levels skyrocket the second I walk in the door at night. I am literally more stressed out at home than I am at work or school. I know it’s hilarious that my last post was about appreciating them, but let me be clear- I do appreciate them for what they have done for me. I just don’t appreciate always being blamed initially for things that are not my fault, not being apologized to when they’re proven wrong, not being given credit for the things I do, and getting screamed at over absolutely nothing.
So, I had a meltdown on Friday, and took off. I was still simmering all weekend. When I got home last night, I went straight to my bedroom and cleaned for an hour straight. I did my laundry, cleaned up my bathroom, packed anything on the floor that was still without a box, emptied my closet of the clothes I won’t need before the move… everything I could find went somewhere. After I finally had nothing left to do, I felt good. REALLY good.
It’s been a longstanding joke that when something needs to be done around the house and I don’t feel like doing it, I’ll call one of my exes and they’ll piss me off so badly that the place is sparkling once I’m done with it. I don’t know whether I clean to purposely forget what I’m mad at or if it’s that accomplishing something makes the pill go down easier, but either way, stress makes me really productive. When I’m stressed over a mistake at work, I take 15 minutes and clean my desk. When I have a fight, I rearrange my cosmetics “display” in my washroom. When a customer calls me just to complain, I get some homework done. It’s funny- in high school and university I used to have SERIOUS meltdowns where I would sob for half the day and be useless until the next morning. Now that I’m too busy to go MIA for 24 hours and I don’t have smoking to curb my stress anymore, I’ve noticed I just distract myself with something else. It may not even be healthy. I’m not sure whether I’m bottling, or handling frustration in a productive manner. Either way, it’s REALLY helping this month.
All I know is that I’m counting down the days before I can call my own shots, and tell everyone else to go to hell if they don’t like it- at home, not at work, of course.
Just 27 days to go.
How do you deal with stress?